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Wednesday, March 16th 2005

8:58 AM

What is happening with me.....

  • Today I feel like I should!!!!!!!!
  • I am listening to Three Doors Down
How is everyone this fine, beautiful morning!!!!  You know, being a TS is a very difficult thing, and a very costly one!  I have been looking around for physicians that would be able to help me, and perform the surgery, and I have come up with Dr. Marci Bowers.  She is, herself, a TS.  She has performed over 75 surgeries, with photos of some, and is very highly recommended.  She is located in Trinidad Colorodo, a small town.  Currently, she is the local obgyn, as well as a transgender surgeon.  I was looking over her website, and found that the SRS surgery itself is 13,500...which is alot of money.  Then, in order to complete the surgery, one must obtain a labia, which is another surgery, and at the cost of 9900.  Then, if the hormones havent worked as well as they should have, breast augmentation is needed, this is a cost of 6500.  Then you have the stay in the town, food, etc....coming to a total of about 30000 dollars.  I currently have about 9600 dollars saved, so, I probably have about 3 years left.  Also, she requires that a person cannot be over 200 pounds, passed the standard Transition testing, be approved by a therapist. and lived in the non-biological gender for over a year.  All of which I am working on, or have completed...but wow, what a list of things.  I do know they dont want to make a mistake by doing this to someone that isnt mentally ready or willing to want to have it done, but I really have to say, it is such a small price to have to pay to become the person I am.  I have tried committing suicide over 10 times, all of which havent worked...from taking pills, to slashing wrists, and even slashing my neck....all because I didnt know what was wrong with me, and I couldnt stand living as a man....it was just wrong for me.  Dr Bowers, seems to be a person that understands someone like me, having gone thru it herself.  She is considered the foremost surgeon in the United States for new procedures of making things almost perfect.  She knows what a woman like myself wants to achieve, and she works very hard to achieve it.  So, it is a small price to pay for a life which I have dreamt for since I could remember.  I mean, wouldnt you pay anything you could to achieve the dreams of life????  To make yourself the person you have wanted to be since you were a little girl or boy....???  A princess, a baseball player, horseback rider, whatever it might have been....wouldnt you give up everything you have for that dream???  Of course you would, as I am doing, this is something I have to do, in order to feel whole, complete, and finally feel the way I should....so, if ANYONE has any questions pertaining to this, the procedures, or how to contact Dr. Bowers, let me know!!!!  In fact, if you have any questions what so ever, I would love to hear them!!!!!!!!!  I dont bite...!!!!!!!!!  Well, at least not hard
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